Brit-Blog # 10... A Burgoo of Miscellany

Issue #10 …

A Burgoo of Miscellany

A New Arrival!

The most recent addition to our Atlantic-bound crew is Erich Nobis. (Yes, there is an “h” at the end of his name.) Erich, a senior at Triopia, is the son of Randy and Karen Nobis, the folks who run the Hobby Horse Daycare Center in Jacksonville where Erich also works in his after-school hours.

Erich is a former football player and a current actor in the Triopia/Lincoln Land stable of performers. Next year he’ll be heading probably toward ISU.

Oh yeah…he’s one cool kid.

Here’s a pix of our three teenaged travelers…Erich, Wendy and Hannah. (I made the mistake of putting Travis’s pix in an earlier newsletter and two travelers cancelled the next day. ..I can safely say this since Travis seldom checks his email.)

The Deadline Approacheth!

Please Remember that March 1, 2008 is the absolute deadline for full payment to be postmarked to the tour company in order to avoid being charged the 2008 rate rather than the 2007 fee that we’re now paying.

Getting Your Head Around the Term “Old”

One of the toughest things for American tourists to fully understand is the idea of time. After all, we are among the newest nations in the world.

Let’s boil it down to a single example: In one of the restaurants in Dublin there is an oven..still used every day…that is twice as old as our entire country. For 600 years cooks have been turning out meat pies, pasties, and Irish stew from this oven that was up and cooking while our nation was largely a wilderness inhabited only the early native Americans. An oven!

The Tower of London was begun in 1078. Hello! The Crown Jewels have been kept there since 1303.

It reminds me of a cartoon I saw recently in The New Yorker magazine. A man in a toga was sitting at his desk writing. He looks up at his assistant and says, “Darn, I keep writing B.C. on my checks.”

Another good example is the city of Edinburgh, Scotland. When the Romans got there in the first century, they found a culture already well-developed. The first century! What they refer to as “New Town” was begun in the 17^th century. So much for your new Honda.

While Illinois was nothing but roving buffalo and wandering tribes of Native Americans, students were sitting down to take their final exams and the University of Edinburg… 1592.

It often makes American tourists grin when European tour guides refer to the “new wing” of a building, built in the 1700’s. In our new and still-evolving country, we simply don’t have a good handle on the word “old.” It’s another joy of travel to get a bigger and better perspective on the world.

Dollar Diving

As you’ve probably read, the dollar continues to crash in Europe. This is good news for Europe, but it puts a pinch on the American shopper. And of course we happen to be traveling to the now most-affluent part of Europe. For the first time, the annual average income of the Irishman is now higher than the American. The good news… we’re no longer looked upon as “The Ugly American” who travels Europe flashing his credit card and trying to buy up the continent. It might be a refreshing change. (Recent tour guides have told me that the Germans and the Japanese are the current holders of the “ugly traveler” title. Sometimes it’s nice to not win.)

A Traffic Tale

I was reminded of a London story after church this morning while chatting with Luke Crawford, brother of Judy Hall and son of Maxine Crawford, two of our fellow travelers.

Luke and I did a tour of London some years ago. I’d hired a private car to pick us up at Heathrow since we were both country boys and didn’t want the hassle of figuring out the train system.

The bloke who picked us up was a nice chap in a well-worn Mercedes. He put our luggage in the back seat then opened the rear doors for us to climb in. Luke, wanting to soak up every bit of this adventure said, “You care if I ride in front?” The driver looked at him as if no one had ever asked this before and said, “Right! Climb in!”

If you think a ride though London can be hairy on a coach, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, Bubba. This guy was obviously paid by the job and not the hour. We flew… running all colors of lights, zipping with inches of all things human, animal, and mineral, and making it to our hotel in what must have been record time, even during the morning rush hour traffic.

When we got out of the car, Luke whispered to me, “I think I’ll ride in back next time.” Six Flags, eat your heart out.

London In July

The average high temp is 75 with the average low at a sweet 57. Very often, jet lag is nothing compared to the shock we get when we return to St. Louis and take a breath of humid Midwest air. Since July and August are the warmest months, they also have the most rainfall, averaging 12 “wet days” a month. That’s the term… wet days.

We’ll have missed Wimbledon by a week. (This is good…really.)

We will be in time for the Open Air Theatre in Regent’s Park (this is really good), the Tower Music Festival, the City of London Festival, the Opera in Holland Park, and the Coin Street Festival.

The London Express…

Two interesting sites advising what to do in London if you only have three days:

http://www.britainexpress.com/articles/London/frenzy.htm

and from the famous folks at Frommers:

http://www.frommers.com/destinations/london/0055020791.html

Tote dat Barge, Lift dat Bag!

Some of you have inquired about the current airline baggage restrictions. Let me begin by saying that we really won’t know until we get our plane tickets and learn which airline we’re flying. There’s no “standard” in the industry. One gentle reminder: the fellow in Sears or Amazon who lists as bag as “carry on” has no idea what the restrictions are…it’s simply a selling technique. Wait until we know before you decide.

I always tell my group to pack their bags, carry them around their house three times, then come inside and re-pack. And remember…take your oldest underwear then leave them in the hotel.

And Just In Case…

…you’re one of those who psychologists call “anxious fliers,” consider this: Once every 19,000 years are your odds of going down in a plane. That means if you flew every day for 19,000 years you’d finally be due to bite the big landing gear in the sky. 22 times safer than driving to the airport. More Americans lose their lives by falling off ladders and drowning in their bathtubs. .. Of course, if you were taking a bath while standing on a ladder in a United Airlines jet……

On My First Visit to London…

…I sat beside a nattily attired little gentlemen. Asking what he did for a living, he smiled and said, “I design all the fabulous marquees on Broadway.”

“Really?” I asked. “Which ones?”

“All of them,” he said, “and they’re all fabulous.”

And Once Flying Home…

…I’d just seen Miss Saigon in London on the night before for which Jonathan Pryce had won the British equivalent of the Tony for his performance. When I took my seat coming out of Heathrow, he was right there in front of me, sitting with his wife and small daughter. I couldn’t help it. I had to lean up and congratulate him on such a wonderful performance. He asked where I was from and nearly talked my leg off for about an hour, curious about anyone who would do theatre in the middle of a cornfield. (He was Governor Weatherby Swann in Pirates of the Caribbean.)

Dangerous Blarney

Before the Blarney Stone became such a hot tourist spot, people would climb to the top of the castle on their own and have someone hold them by their heels as they reached to kiss the magical rock. Then it happened…someone slipped from their friends’ grasp and death quickly ensued somewhere down at the bottom of the castle. Nowadays a guide hangs onto you, you lean over backwards, and there are steel bars to grab onto.

A bit of verse once written about the famous stone:

There is a stone there,
That whoever kisses,
Oh, he never misses
To grow eloquent.
'Tis he may clamber
To a lady's chamber,
Or become a member
Of Parliament.

Whipping the What????

Day Three will find us in Cork, Ireland, a town of some 117,000 Irish souls who are home to perhaps the strangest tradition in the Emerald Isle. It’s called “Whipping the Herring,” and old celebration which marked the return of meat to local tables at the end of lent. Observed up to the early 19th century, it involved a local butcher and citizens parading through the streets to the Lee while flogging a herring with a whip. Once at the river he would drop the herring into the water, then pick up a leg of lamb adorned with ribbons. He would then parade back to his shop and distribute cuts of the meat to the joyous spectators. I’m glad we’re 200 years too late to see the poor fish flogged.

An Illuminating Day

Our tour of Dublin includes a walk-through of Trinity College, where we’ll view perhaps the most famous Bible in the world, The Book of Kells. One page is displayed every day. Produced by Celtic monks around the year 800, it’s the world’s finest example of an “illuminated manuscript,” containing the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

York? What’s York?

One stop on our British tour that you might overlook or take lightly is our day between Scotland and London when we tour then stay overnight in York, voted last year by the British Tourism folks as “England’s best city.” Not sure what all that means, but I guess we’ll find out.

We’ll be traveling through the ancient Cheviot Hills to this city founded in the year 71. (Remember what I was saying about the meaning of the word “old?”)

On our official tour of the city..which I think may be a walking tour.. we’ll see the largest Gothic church north of the Alps, York Minster. Our travel material says it was begun in 1154 and took 250 years to build…obviously non-union work. The Minster contains the largest collection of stained glass in Europe.

We have the afternoon and evening to ourselves. Some suggestions, according to what I’ve been able to find are The Jorvik Viking Centre, a Ghost Tour, the York Boats which give you a view of the city from the river, a really cheesy place called the York Dungeon (all the wax you can view in an afternoon), The Yorkshire Museum with an archeological emphasis ala Roman, and the York Castle Museum.

My most vivid memory of York is sitting in a coffee shop and having a scone with clotted cream.. a delight that I can still recall through the magic of my taste buds.

It’s a town known for its Walking Tours..many of these are unguided and simply need a guidebook or brochure.

And dear Lord, but does this city have places to shop! … and at least traditionally it’s a bit cheaper than London where we’ll next be headed. The town is so well known for its shopping that it has a program called “Five Routes to Shopping Heaven,” depending upon your shopping preferences.

For theatre buffs, York has two professional theatres plus the Opera. And pubs? Of course. It’s England.

The Home of the Bard

Day Nine finds us driving from York to Stratford-Upon-Avon, the home of William Shakespeare. Our official tour includes Bill’s birthplace, Anne Hathaway’s cottage, and the church where Shakespeare is buried.

We may throw our tour guide for a bit of a loop at this stop since the tour was originally scheduled to see a Shakespeare play tonight but I switched it off for a night of London theatre. (Our tour consultant in Massachusetts, Kathy Bernard, whispered to me on the phone, “Good move.”) The Royal Shakespeare Theatre is huge and often hot and Bill’s plays aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. So…evening in Stratford will be up to us.

Now of course anyone who wishes may purchase tickets for the night’s performance. It’s not a large town, and like Lincoln’s New Salem, it’s based around one central figure, Mr. S’peare. As with most places in England, there are shops and pubs, and it’s a delightful little town for strolling. The central park has statuary depicting Shakespeare’s characters. (I once had to pose beside a statue of Falstaff…my group thought we had similar shape.)

Boat rides on the Avon are possible, I think. I mean, it’s not called “upon Avon” for nothing.

True story…on my first trip to Stratford I was walking through the central park with a Texan I’d met. Suddenly a frightened man came running toward us shouting, “Help! Help! He’s trying to kill me!” I’ve never done anything like in my life, but the Texan and I got between the fellow and an (unarmed) man following him. We stopped him, had him cornered up against a stone wall and our captive shouted, “You bloody idiots! That bloke just tried to steal my boat!” Oops…wrong guy.

One more Stratford Tale.. When Doug Bradbury, his little brother and I were touring Stratford a few years ago, one member of our party, Josh Ryder (son of Peggy and Tom, two of our travelers this year) saw a cricket game in progress. Always curious and especially curious about this strange game, Josh walked up to the cricketers and asked if he could join in…and he did. ..Didn’t make ESPN but Josh showed the sort of friendly gumption that makes a good traveler. (And now he’s in the ministry..see what comes from playing cricket?)

A Reliable Travel Site…

The best place to get the “skinny” on air travel do’s and don’t’s….

www.TSATravelTips.us

‘Til Next Time…

May your feet never sweat,
your neighbor give you ne're a treat.
When flowers bloom, I hope you'll not sneeze,
and may you always have someone to squeeze! –Old Irish Blessing

London on the Cheap(er)

Issue #9

London..on the Cheap(er)

London is usually listed as the second-most-expensive city in the world. If you live there and have to buy real estate, I guess that could be true. But in this issue, let’s look at how to have a great time in London for practically nothing…or certainly less money than many tourist books would advise. The hotels are astronomically expensive, but ours is paid for. Food is still pricey, but we only buy our lunch.

Here’s a short tour of how to see and experience London for less money than you might expect. Remember, we’ll be in England’s crown city for the evening of Day 10, all day on Day 11, and all of Day 12. The morning of Day 11 will be taken up with our official tour of the city and that’s included in the price of the tour.

Museums

Most of the Big museums are free - that includes the Science, Natural History and Imperial War Museums, The British Museum, and The John Soane Museum of London. The Department of Culture has invested millions - raised by gambling tax and other taxes, to keep Britain's museums free. Places that do charge usually have a free period or day e.g. To check out the museums, go to this site: http://www.londontourist.org/museums.html

Galleries

Virtually all free, including the National Gallery, both the Tate galleries. Those that do make an admission charge usually have a free day (eg The Courtauld), or a free period (the Guildhall, from 15:30). (Note that most times in the British Isles are noted on the 24-hour clock. 15:30…3:30 p.m.)

To get the specifics about the galleries: http://www.londontourist.org/art.html

History

There's plenty of history for free in London - although most of the Royal Palaces make a charge, there are plenty of historic buildings and houses that don't and London's rarely explored churches are exquisite (you can even visit Westminster Abbey, which makes a charge, for free if you attend evensong services there). I recommend you do spend the cash to visit either the Tower of London or Hampton Court. Frankly, I’d put the Tower of London at the top of any London tour. I’ll check on the current price, but my goodness, it’s worth it. The world’s most interesting tour guides escort you through the place. They’re the famous Beefeaters and they have voices that need no amplification. Places like Westminster Abbey and St. Paul’s will let you in free for evensong then you’ll be advised to hustle out once the service is completed. When you’re worshipping, it’s free.

Politics

The Houses of Parliament are far from stuffy… “rowdy” might be the better word. Admission when the house is sitting is free - you queue up outside but you won't get into Commons much before 16:30 - better to go later in the evening when the queues have gone down. (And get used to the word.. you “queue up,” not “line up.”)

Shopping

Ok, the prices in London are often astronomical, but the London shopping experience is still largely free. Harrods' Food hall is a cornucopia of Victorian victuals, Camden and Portobello road markets are attractions in themselves, and you can wander down Bond Street anytime fantasizing about what it would be like to have a million bucks.

The standing offer since Harrods’ inception has been, “Whatever you want, we can get it in 24 hours.” People (with money) have tested this…like ordering a pink elephant. Be sure to catch the fish art display that’s changed daily in one of the sidewalk windows of Harrods. Yes…a sculpture of fish.

To peruse the London Markets:

http://www.londontourist.org/markets.html

London Shopping:

http://www.londontourist.org/shopping.html

Theatre

Theatre in London is one of the few reasonably prices things the British have to offer..much cheaper than New York theatre, and there's plenty for free. From the street entertainers in Covent Garden (under the porch of the Actors' Church where Britain's first Punch & Judy show was performed) to the innumerable festivals, there's lots going on. Free foyer events at the South Bank Centre and Barbican are usually of the highest standard. For the theatre of life, head for the markets. And remember that one night of theatre is included in the price of our tour. And a p.s.: if you’re in groups of 2-3 and want cheap tickets, there’s a place in Leicester Square where you can get tickets for half price on the day of the performance. (And there are places that claim to be that place which aren’t really that place.)

Music

Again, the price of concerts in London is, considering the high quality, very reasonable (from July to September you can see the world's best at the Proms for £3 a ticket) with huge subsidies (all tickets for the BBC orchestras are cheap, thanks to the TV license fee and a government grant) but still there's a lot for free (for example the BBCSO hold free concerts at the BBC Maida Vale studios -tickets for which can be obtained by calling BBC Audience Services on 020 8576 1227 - just don't cough as it's being taped for radio transmission).

Recent free events at the Barbican and South Bank have included concerts by the NY Phil, London Philharmonia, Top Jazz and folk bands. Grab a “programme.” Occasionally you'll catch a famous band busking or recognize someone you saw busking last week on MTV.

And Speaking of Buskers

These folks are one of my favorite things about London (and you’ll find them in Ireland and Scotland as well). They’re street musicians or actors or magicians or mimes, usually with a little hat or box for your donations. The quality of regular buskers in Leicester Square is very high (the local council charges £400 a week for the pitches) - Covent Garden actually auditions for its buskers as quality control. Many pubs have a good reputation for free music. Covent Garden is probably my favorite place to watch them because…well, it’s just a cool place.

Hoofing It…

Although it’s a mighty big city, London is still a wonderful city for walking. There are too many famous walks to list them all here, but here’s a taste:

http://www.londontourist.org/itinerary.html

One of my favorite London activities consists of buying an all-day Tube pass, hopping on, then getting off when something looks interesting. You can NEVER get lost in London as long as you remember the name of the Tube stop nearest your hotel. If you’re think you’re lost, simply walk in any direction until you see a sign for the Tube. Go down the steps or the elevator, look at a map and it’ll tell you how to get from where you are to where you want to go. I’m not exaggerating. It’s just that easy. We’ll show you how to negotiate the Tube map once we get to London. You may have to make transfers from one Tube line to another, but there are always signs. And of course once the doors to the car open, you’ll hear the voice of God (or someone) on the P.A. system saying, “Mind the gap. Mind the gap.” That means “Hey, American! Don’t step into the pit!”

And one more vital bit of advice. Many of these Tube stations are located far underground and you’ll need to take an escalator or a series of escalators to get there (sometimes an elevator). When on the escalator, stand on the right side! Do not stand on the left! The fast-moving commuters will at best get irritated and at worst, run right over you.

Some Specific Freebees

Changing the Guard

For a display of British pomp and ceremony, watch the Changing the Guard ceremony outside Buckingham Palace. This is where one member of Queen's Guards exchanges duty with the old guard. Both guards are dressed in traditional red tunics and bearskin hats, and the ceremony is set to music.

To catch the ultimate royal experience, stand outside Buckingham Palace at 10.45am and again at 11.40am to watch the mounted guards ride out of the palace and down The Mall. It takes place every day from April to July and then alternate days the rest of the year. Visit the Royal website for a full schedule. I don’t know for sure, but very often the official tour of London includes (and often concludes at) the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham so you may see this as a part of our city tour.

The Ceremony of the Keys

A tradition for the past 700 years, this ceremony takes place every evening at the Tower of London. The Chief Yeoman Warder, wearing a long red tunic, Tudor bonnet and carrying a candle, locks up the main gate and delivers the keys to the Resident Governor of the Tower. Tickets are free, but need to be booked up to two months in advance by written application.

Sir John Soane's Museum

Sir John Soane was an architect and collector of curios. During his lifetime he amassed some remarkable antiquities from all four corners of the globe. These are now on display in Sir John Soane's Museum, which is his former home - and gives a real insight into the life of this extraordinary Victorian gentleman.

RAF Museum

Take to the skies on a free day out at the RAF Museum. There are over 80 aircraft on display, together with uniforms, weapons, photographs and more. Plus, there's a Battle of Britain sound and light show, a helipad, and even a Red Arrows flight simulator, if your nerves can handle it!

Miscellany…

Here’s a sort of review of Top Ten Things to Do in London for Free:

http://golondon.about.com/od/thingstodoinlondon/tp/free_London.htm

Time Out … that’s the name of the magazine to buy if you want to know what’s now and what’s hot in London. You’ll find it in the London airport..and about everywhere else.

Click here for a quick You Tube video of the London sights. http://www.londonforfree.net

A Very Simple Story… Sometime in the early 1980’s I took a group of teenagers to Europe. London was the last stop on our tour and the kids hadn’t budgeted very wisely. They were pretty much out of money. With a single day left in London they had just enough money for a Tube pass. Then…one girl came up with an idea…

She and a friend went into a grocery store, bought the makings of sandwiches, and the 14 of us took off for Green Park. (A beautifully green park, but unfortunately it’s named after the green condition of bodies piled up there after the Black Plague.) We sat on the grass and except for that blasted Australian delicacy, Vegemite, we enjoyed the most memorable afternoon of our trip… simply watching the British stroll by, watching the swans on the lake, and trying to get the British squirrels to eat the Vegemite. My personal warning: whenever we travel I encourage people to try the local cuisine, no matter what it seems to look or smell like. “Vegemite” is where I draw the line. It takes like a paste of metal shavings. Only an Australian could stomach such a thing.

Some of my favorite Free (or cheap) activities in London include… strolling through Covent Garden..the buskers are on a schedule and switch every hour or so and there are always several different groups going on at once. (By the way, Covent Garden isn’t really a “garden,” but rather a market/exposition area.) Not a cheap place to eat or shop but a great place to stroll. (And right next to Covent Garden is the National Theatre Museum.)

----Going to Parliament Square just before the hour, whipping out your cell phone, calling up a friend and saying, “Listen to this” as Big Ben strikes in the background. There’s nothing like rubbing it in.

---Walking through the Food Hall at Harrods.

---Going to Trafalgar Square and watching the people. It’s the meeting place in London and everyone seems to end up there eventually.

---Walking through Piccadilly Circus and viewing every form of strangeness available on the planet. (Circus, by the way, comes from the Roman word for “circle.” The pink elephants are at Harrods.)

---Going to Speaker’s Corner in Hyde Park on Sunday morning. It’s the wildest bunch of orating and heckling you’ve ever seen. Unfortunately, I think we’ll be coming into London on a Sunday evening.

---Getting on the Tube and just cruising. And by the way, the American vision of a subway (Tube) is of a dangerous place filled with muggers and Harrison Ford shooting people. The London Tube is the main form of transportation (you’ll see if you make the mistake of riding it during rush hours) and they’re safe as long as you keep moving and don’t get run over by young suited men carrying briefcases. More about the Tube in later issues.

---Talking to the locals in the pubs.

---Paying admission to Westminster Abbey or St. Paul’s, then simply sitting in a pew, closing my eyes, and listening to God.

Movie Sights… some folks like to see the actual places where famous movies were filmed..For a somewhat list: (And yes, that includes Oxford where we’ll be touring. It was the stand-in for many of the Hogwarts sites from Harry Potter.)

http://www.beabritdifferent.com/traveltalk/traveltalk-20071101.php?utm_source=VB4Home&utm_medium=webref&utm_content=Top11&utm_campaign=vbwow_LIV2_VB4

To the Golfers in our Group.. If you’d like to spend your free Edinburgh day knocking the ball around the Highlands, here’s a good place to start looking…

http://www.edinburghguide.com/sport/golf/

A final reminder: to make best use of our time in London, it’s best to plan ahead..at least pick out a few places and activities ahead of time. To simply get there then start thinking will be a bit late. London has over 40,000 listed buildings and structures of interest, 143 parks, 26 street markets, and over 40,000 shops. We’ll only have time to “skim,” so make it something delicious.

The Half-Day City Tour included in the price of our trip will no doubt whet your appetite for things you’ll want to see. In most cases we’ll simply cruise by the sites on our coach and there’ll be little stopping. After all, the purpose of the city tour is to cover one of the planet’s largest cities in a few hours.

The Red Double-Decker busses are a great way to see the city. True, you may not have any idea where you are when you riding on top, but the view is spectacular. (And yes, they’re exactly the same as they have in St. Louis’s Forest Park. That’s where St. Louis got theirs.)

Walk..walk..walk…. the best tourist tip for London.

A Brief Over-view of our time in London:

DAY 10: OXFORD, LONDON We begin in Oxford for our tour, then head for London. I’m not sure when we’ll arrive in London, but I’m guessing Early evening.

DAY 11: LONDON CITY SIGHTSEEING A professional guide will accompany us this morning on a tour of the sights and sounds of the British capital. We’ll see Westminster Abbey, the Houses of Parliament, Big Ben, Trafalgar Square, St. Paul’s, Soho, Oxford Street, 10 Downing Street and the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace, if it is scheduled today. This afternoon is free to arrange as we wish. This will be Your first real time to explore the city on your own. On one of our London evenings we’ll have a play included In the price of the trip…not sure which night. On this night We’ll have what’s called a “Carvery Dinner” included. Overnight in London.

DAY 12: LONDON FREE DAY – This will be an Entire day on our own in London. Possible theatre tonight?

DAY 13: RETURN FLIGHT No time to sight-see today…we’re headed back toward the Illinois heat and humidity.

‘Til next time!

And Olde English Blessing:

May your joys be as sweet as spring flowers that grow, as bright as the hearth fire when winter winds blow, as quiet leaves that float down in the fall, as serene as the Love that keeps watch over.

Travelers Tales..Newsletter 8

Issue #8

The Traveling Tales Issue

Before we get close to departure and must busy ourselves with the nasty little details of airports, transport, passport, and portage, I thought I’d share with you a few adventures of past travels. Many of these don’t involve travel in Great Britain, but they all point to the fact that traveling overseas is not so much a vacation as adventure.

Kenny and the Soviets

--KB

His name was Kenny, he was a sophomore at Triopia, and this was his first trip abroad. Our trip was to the Soviet Union in the days when glasnost and perestroika were just coming into being. The Soviet Union (newly named, now it’s Russia again) was just coming out of the cold war period. It was prime time to see this part of the world.

We’d taken an overnight train from Moscow to Leningrad. We’d been advised by our guide to not fall asleep, “or the train employees will rob you blind.” So..we bought a picnic of Coke, wine, sandwiches, and smoked oysters, and proceeded to spend our traveling hours awake and chatting.

Our train arrived safely in Leningrad. Believe me, the city is a breath of fresh air after the drab mood of Moscow. We were touring one of the city’s many parks when Kenny came up to me, tears in his eyes, and said, “Mr. Bradbury, I think I left my passport on the train.”

Not good. In any foreign country this is a problem. Your passport is the single

most important document you own when traveling and it often means spending the better part of a day at the local consulate to get a new one made. …that is if you’ve remembered to bring an additional photo of yourself along with a copy of your birth certificate. But…this was the Soviet Union.

I ran over to our British guide, Champaign Dave (what the Soviets called him) and his face turned ashen. He said there was a possibility that I would have to stay with Kenny in Leningrad, perhaps for several weeks, while our group flew back. And even then it might involve flying a lawyer to Moscow. This wasn’t pretty.

Kenny said he’d left the passport in his train compartment. Remembering that this was the train where we’d been warned about the thievery of the crew, our hopes didn’t look good. I insisted that Dave and I at least attempt to find the train.

Dave informed me that we’d have to bribe our way through the guards. With what? He said that the items most coveted by the Soviets were pantyhose, windshield wiper blades, prophylactics, and American cigarettes. I only had a ready supply of one of those items. Gathering every cigarette I could find, I tucked them inside my coat and off we headed toward the station. Dave carefully negotiated with each guard, passing out only as many cigarettes as were necessary to get past that particular checkpoint.

Let me stop and say that I’ve learned more about prayer in desperate situations than I have in church. Dave was talking, I was praying. Bottom line: we found the Arenzville boy’s passport still laying on his train seat. Praise God!

The Ladies of Investment Meet the Ladies of the Night

---KB

Perhaps you read about them in USA Today or saw them on Good Morning America or the Today show. They’re called “The Beardstown Ladies” and they became nationally famous with their investment club and their ensuing book on the club’s success. Five of their group signed up for our tour of Australia.

They were each in their late 70’s or early 80’s and were a very pleasant group. Although our tour was a tough one… San Francisco, Tahiti, New Zealand, Australia, and Hawaii, they paced themselves well and were always “sorry to be a bother.” The young men with our group delighted in carrying their bags and I think that several adoptions were proposed by the time the trip was over.

I knew we were in trouble when we landed in Sydney and our coach driver said, “Where’s your hotel, Mate?” I told him that it was in the King’s Cross area of Sydney. His eyes shot open. “Where!!?” Uh-oh.

I knew that the hotel was cheap, but I wasn’t familiar with the Sydney real estate. King’s Cross is the drug and prostitution district of Sydney, Australia.

As our coach inched its way through the late-night but still-bustling district of sleaze, the faces of my Triopia kids were plastered against the windows. This was a far cry from Chapin.

As soon as I settled the group into their rooms, I called a meeting of the group. “Okay, we’re stuck with this. In Tahiti and New Zealand I let you go wherever you wanted at night, but nobody…and I mean NOBODY leaves this hotel without me as a chaperone.”

The teens in the group were so frightened that they opted to stay in the hotel for the night. The mid-aged adults were tired and went to bed. Then…at about midnight.. a tap-tap-tap on my door. It was the Beardstown ladies. .. little hats perched atop their heads, purses in hand. “Would you go out with us?”

I asked them to give me time enough to put on my pants and we’d go cruising.

It was a weird adventure. This was not like the porn districts of many American cities where you’d see lewd posters advertising what’s to be found inside the doors. In Sydney the gals were right out on the street and there was little you couldn’t see for free.

Then it started to happen. About every ten steps one of the Beardstown ladies would stop and begin chatting with one of the hookers. “My, that’s quite an outfit!” and “And what do you do for a living?”

I was caught between giggling and fright. They were serious! They wanted to know all about these lurid ladies and their livelihood.

After about 30 minutes of this, jeg-lag knocked on my door and I told the older ladies, “Gals, I think you’re gonna be safe. If you don’t mind, I’m going back to the hotel.” They agreed that my presence wasn’t needed and I went back to bed.

Sometime around 2 in the morning I arose, thirsty, found that I had no running water in my room, and went down to the bar to get a sip. As I entered I found the Beardstown ladies who had brought one of the prostitutes back with them for tea. They were showing her pictures of their grandchildren in Arenzville and Beardstown and Rushville, all giggling with delight.

They took the hooker’s address and they became pen pals, sending the Aussie gal their Upper Room devotionals.

The Foot Washer

--KB

I wouldn’t want to embarrass this young man since he’s now a prominent Jacksonville lawyer. (Oh heck, I will anyway..his name is Richard Crews.) He was my roommate on a trip through France and Switzerland.

Rick had never seen a French bidet. Well, I’d never seen one either, but I knew that it was the Napoleonic answer to personal hygiene and it all sounded rather…well…disgusting. They’re usually located right beside the commode in French hotels.

But…Rick still hadn’t been to law school. I nearly choked on my baguette one morning at breakfast when Rick bounded into the cafeteria and announced that he’d just used the “sock washer” in our room.

De Plane, She is Goin’ Down!

--KB

The plan: take a short flight from Milan, Italy, to Rome. Easy. Maybe an hour’s jaunt?

I had a group of 18 with me on that trip…nearly all teenagers. We’d just been in the air a few minutes when the announcement came over the plane’s PA system. Okay…first let me tell you how American Airlines or United would have announced it. “Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. We’re experiencing a few minor difficulties and we’ll be reducing our altitude for the rest of the flight. Have a nice day.” But this was not an American airline. It was Air Italia…the cowboys of Europe. Air Italia was known for buying up old TWA junkers, repainting them and putting them into the air. Their pilots are much akin to those who used to work for Ozark Airlines here in the Midwest. Flying by the seat of their pants was the name of the game.

So..our announcement was exactly this. “Hey! The left cockpit window, she just blew out! We’re goin’ down!” That’s right. He didn’t say, “reduce altitude,” he said “Goin’ down!” with no mention of how far down “down” was.

In fact, the left cockpit window had just blown out of the plane. Regardless of what you’ve seen in movies, people don’t necessary go flying out the gaping hole. They simply had to reduce speed and altitude to make it to Rome.

What followed was like one of those “terror” moments in the Airplane movies. Panic. We had everything but the nun. Pandemonium reigned. Then came the second announcement. “Hey! Could about 18 of you move forward in da aircraft?”

Did he say 18? And doesn’t “forward” mean First Class? Heck yes! I urged my group to their feet and we went running toward the empty First Class section. 18 seats exactly.

While those poor folks back in cabin class we reenacting the final scenes of The Titanic, we were comfortably ensconced in wide leather seats. To calm the passengers, the three pilots came back to chat and calm us. (Three pilots? Who’s flying the plane?) These guys were just gorgeous… black leather suits, black swept-back hair, all looking like Ricardo Montalban in his younger days. They charmed my little mostly-female group in an Italian secondo. Then they offered free Champaign to everyone. My mostly underage students turned to me hopefully. I said, “Sure. Go ahead. If we’re goin’ down, let’s do it in style.”

And we did.

More Stories from the rest of the gang:

Mary Emma’s Touch Down

--Mary Emma Seymour

Guess I'll have to sit by you on the plane. None of mine have been newsworthy, as I recall. The first trip to Europe, the summer between my Jr. and Sr. year at Valparaiso University, 1960....the landing gear failed to go down as we approached LaGuardia...the pilot tried it 3 times...straight down and a perfect V straight up...the 4th time, he lowered the wheels manually and it worked...I did fill the little paper sack in the pocket in front of me...guess it was nerves the roller coaster ride... (The good news..our flight will not be traveling via LaGuardia.)

Keith & Nancy: 1, TWA: 0

--Keith Bradbury

Funny how we seem to remember bad experiences more vividly than good
one's. I have very few bad memories of any traveling. When you travel, you
learn. In 1987 Nancy and I were fortunate enough, (thanks, Dad) to travel to
Europe with Ken. I learned why TWA is no longer in business. Once we
arrived in London the trip was perfect from there until the end. However
the trip over...... We left St. Louis.. No problem. When we got to
Pittsburg to pick up more passengers, TWA told Nancy and I we must get off
the plane because our boarding pass was only good to Pittsburg and the plane
was full. It was about 3 seconds before I exploded. (Back then you could do
that and not get arrested) Ken's came off the plane and told them either
Nancy and I were getting back on the plane or there were 30 people getting
off. After a few minutes and 2 or 3 supervisors who did not have a clue
what day it was, there were 12 seats available. Miracle? I think rather,
incompetent.

Back on the plane, they were not able to seat us together. I did not
like it, but I agreed to sit in the back with Jack Daniels. Nancy was seated
near the front. Smoking was allowed at the back of the plane and a large
lady, who was seated up front so the smoke would not bother her, came back
to stand by me and the bathroom to have a smoke about every 15 minutes. I
ask the servant, (do you detect my frame of mind?) if they would ask her to
keep her ash in her seat. They said there was nothing they could do about
it. (She did not speak English, so they didn't know how to tell her) I was
now required to take the matter into my own hands. It seemed each time I
repositioned my body, which was very often, (small, unpadded TWA seats) I
accidentally nudged, kicked or stepped on her. (Don’t think me mean. She was
of significant proportion and could easily take me down) After a few
annoying glances, she moved up several rows for her smoke. At least she was
far enough away that Jack and I could take a nap.

And Bill Loves Those Airlines, Too!

---Bill Curry

I am sure you remember our flight to Moscow via Aeroflot. I am not sure that is a story to share with the group.
(KB: It was a bit wild. I think the Russian pilots used to fly for Ozark airlines.)
My first trip to Europe, the plane bounced all the way to Vienna. We were trying to fly over thunderstorms. Again, I don’t think you should share with the group.
(KB; Oh heck yes, I’ll share it. I like roller coasters)
Do you dare share with the group coming home from Paris in 1995 and reaching Cleveland with no connecting flight until the next day? (KB: So we had to find lodgings for 20-some people with a plastics convention in town and every motel taken. I found one about 20 miles outside of town. By the time I got everyone in cabs, there were none left for me. A very large African-American man came up to me and said, “Need a ride man? I got a cab.” His cab was a beat-up delivery van, but I had no choice. I’d sent my group to the hotel. After 30 minutes of driving we pulled into a deserted parking lot. Trying to make nervously friendly conversation I said, “Uh..what are we doing?”

“I need fuel, man.”

“Uh..this isn’t a gas station.”

“It’s LP, man. I’ll find a hose somewhere.”

So while he left the van I sat in the darkened Cincinnati junk yard..midnight or so. He left his radio on. ..a Christian station.. good news unless it was an accident. Finally the guy got into the van and we took off. Trying anything to make his friendship, I said, “Uh..I like your choice of music.” He said, “Recognize the voice?” The DJ’s voice was familiar. “It’s..it’s you!” Yep..he was a Baptist minister who did indeed drive an LP-powered van as a moonlighter. Thank God! I’d forgotten that night, Bill!

The paper thin walls at the Lodge in New Zealand, with Don Obert snoring in the next room. (KB: And now Don is dead. See where snoring will get you?)

Please tell the group that God travels with us. I added up the total days of traveling with you and it comes to 80 days. On two of the days it rained. The other days we had beautiful weather. That is 98% good weather. (KB: Bill, you’re the only person I know who would remember numbers like this. Good for you!)
Most of the time, our flights have been on time! I am sure we will have continued success.
With the exception of you losing your suitcase for one day, everyone has had their suitcase awaiting on the carousel. (KB: The last time my suitcase didn’t arrive home at the St. Louis airport, they called the van service to deliver it to Arenzville. The guy on the other end of the phone said, “Bradbury? I already know his address.” I’ve become quite good friends with the suitcase delivery people over the years. Hey! They deliver it right to your door! Who needs good service?)

Oh, the People You’ll Meet

---Kay Welsh

Just one more--On one of my trips to Dallas Mary Kay Seminars--I sat with an older lady from New Orleans. We began talking, as if we'd known each other all our lives& we kept in touch for about 8 yrs;You just never know who God will put in your path! She was such a blessing to meet!
I met some people in line as I was coming back from my recent trip to the Bahamas--who had a close friend that lives in Exeter!! As they ask where I lived,[they lived in IN] my standard answer is always,about 1 hr west of Springfield --they ask again--What is the name of the town--I said Oh its a small town just past Jacksonville. It was at that point
they mentioned their friend's residence location...and to add to that, I know their
friend--He works at Passavant! It's a small world after all! :)
(KB: Reminds me of a time I was sitting talking to our coach driver in Amsterdam, waiting for the last of my group to exit the Anne Frank home. I asked if he’d ever been to the States. He replied, “Oh yeah, me girlfriend lives there. I visit her during the off season.”

“Really? Where in the States?”

“A town in Illinois. Pro’bly never heard of it. Quincy, Illinois?”

“Uh…yeah. I was born there.”)

The Soft Voice and Sweet Smile

---Maxine Crawford

One that stands out is me being barred from a Resort in MO.
For several years while our children were growing up we owned a run-about small boat, and often spent a week each summer on The Lake of the Ozarks at a Resort which was back off the main channel where our children, and friend's children learned to water-ski. The location was excellent for this kind of thing. We learned about this perfect spot from other Arenzville friends The Joe Stinson's and The Richard Bartholomew's.
Two other families always went with us. There was one other boat in our group. Enough room we could load our whole crew up, and go to a Restaurant on the Lake for a meal. A favorite outing the whole group enjoyed once in a while. Otherwise we cooked most or our meals at the Resort.
As we left each year we made reservations for the next summer, and hoped and prayed all the farming chores worked out so we could be gone at the chosen time. We had been going to this same spot for 8-10 years when.......................................
We were all packed, with boats out of the water, on the trailers, and ready for the 4-5 hour drive home. We often traveled together, in case anyone had a problem we would be there to help one another. John was in the office paying our bill, and it seemed to be taking him a very long time. That, in itself, was not that unusual, for those who knew John, know he never met a stranger, or was ever at a loss for words. However, he knew we were parked in the way of other guests who were arriving, and we were holding up the
other two vehicles who would be traveling with us. I decided to go to the office to speed things along. Upon my arrival in the office I learned there was a dispute over the bill. On this particular year we had other guests, for two days, staying with us in our unit. The guests were long gone, and had paid the extra which was charged if you had extras sleeping in your unit.
Now as we are checking out, the owner's of the Resort are charging John the extra again for the, two nights we had, guests in our unit. When I heard the story I said to John, "Well they are screwing you John". The Mrs. of the couple who owned the Resort said, "Mrs. Crawford your soft voice, and sweet smile does not impress me one bit, get out and you will not be welcome here again as long as we own the Resort."
Of course we thought, or hoped they would sell the Resort, or forget about the incident by the next spring. In March of the next year a phone call to the Resort revealed
neither had happened. Everyone else in our group could come that summer, but Mrs.Crawford could not.
My friends were very loyal, we shopped for another place, and stayed elsewhere that
summer, but it was not as convenient, and did not offer the long quiet cove which we
desired for water skiing, and lake swimming.
By the next Summer the Resort had been sold, and we were able to return to our old
stomping grounds for several years after that. No one who ever heard that story would allow me to forget that tale. I have heard, "Mrs. Crawford your soft voice, and sweet smile does not impress me," many times over.
Best not sit by me on the plane, I do not always bring out the best in people.
Judy, and I are looking forward to our journey to the United Kingdom. The excitement is beginning to build.
(KB: Maxine will be in charge of our hotel reservations.)

It Pays to Be Resilient!

--Kay Welsh
Some of my fondest memories are:

The first time Dawn & I went--Our 'unexpected' evening in Austria--With the building to ourselves; the stout, quiet lady who served our food, the fun, laughter & impromptu entertainment that began--with Richard, then you, Keith & on went the evening! I remember walking through that little town (and people staring at us), seeing the storks with their nests on top of the chimneys. Just soaking in the beauty of Southern France; the day we stopped for lunch--Bonnie, Dixie, Dawn, Amy & I decided to pool our 'current change' (since we were going to be changing currency again),walked through the grocery store, while everyone else went in the restaurant next door. We had more fun deciding how much we had to spent, what we were going to share & then sat outside on a concrete slab & ate lunch!! (From KB: The restaurant in Munich was a converted factory..actually, not converted very much..but they had beer and a piano so we became the entertainment for the night.)

Our enjoyable evening in Munich, Germany (after a Horrible day of losing Dawn during the "free time!!") down in the cellar--Hank doing the polka with Bonnie & having a fun time watching everyone.

In 1995 when Kim & I went:

Exploring Paris, learning the way on the tube(is that what they call their underground transportation?) (KB: It’s the “Metro” in Paris, but who’s counting?) going to the style show with Barb & Pete; My favorite spot in the world--Switzerland--and our day at the top of Mt. Titalis--Oh, my gosh--one step from Heaven! to look down over the clouds as we stood on that mountain top! Leaves you Breathless. and yes--we revisited the Cellar in Munich--Barb & I didn't have any trouble finding it! (KB: And if I remember correctly it took two days to get you two up out of the cellar.)

Do you remember our trip home--and our overnight experience in Cleveland! A little test of endurance& patience Actually, our cab driver wasn't sure how to get to where we were to stay; then he stopped to get gas & all the while he was standing outside pumping the gas, he was smoking a cigarette--we were sure we were going to be killed, in a car explosion or fire! By that time of night, all we could do was laugh. That trip was also the group from Kentucky that was so rude! I so bad wanted to leave those lazy men somewhere. (KB: Frankly, I’d forgotten about that night in Cleveland until you and Bill reminded me.)

In all the years I have flown different places, sometimes by myself--I have never had any problems with weather delays, lost luggage or unpleasant circumstances. I flew to Italy 6 mo after 911 events--to visit Dawn & again, Kim & I had no problems getting through anywhere.

Hope your Holidays have been enjoyable! Blessings for the New Year!

KAY

P.S. I spent a few days in the Bahamas with Kim, Nick & his family(and of course my grandson, Austin!)--sunny, warm, relaxing--but didn't seem like "Christmas".

A Whole Raft of Giggles

---Mary Jo Seiz

In the summer of "99, my best friend Cheryl Meyer, her son Wes, my son David, and I went on a rafting trip down the Grand Canyon. On a raft with 15 people for a week, you become very close "in many ways" with people you have never met before. A high-powered CEO, who was accustomed to giving orders, was on our raft. At one point, he declared, "We will have 5 minutes of silence now." The four of us reverted to our grade school days (not as teachers but as young students) and started giggling. We pretty much had the whole raft laughing by the time the 5 minutes had elapsed. The next day, the same scenario happened, but the giggling was much worse. He said that he couldn't believe that we couldn't be quiet for 5 minutes. There had been long periods of time when there was silence, but there's something about someone declaring it. So watch out, Ken! Do not declare,"5 minutes of silence." Things may get out of hand. (Several years after this trip, Cheryl found out she had cancer. She sadly passed away, but she always grabbed life when she could. Her life taught me not to put off things I would like to experience. Ireland has been calling....looking forward to making more trip memories.) (KB: I don’t remember the cathedral. Heck, I don’t even remember which country we were in. All I can remember is that the priest-guide to this cathedral had just whispered to those of us in front of the group, “Now, we must have absolute silence in here.” He didn’t know that we had Kay Welsh in our group and I don’t know what prompted her, but throughout the centuries-old cathedral we heard the explosion of Kay’s famous laughter. We’ll seat you two together.)

Jen and Doug vs. the Russian Navy

---Doug and Jen Bradbury

The setting: June 2001 after our junior year at U of I, Jen and I studied abroad in Moscow, Russia for a summer. We had gotten engaged 3 days before leaving town (we thought we'd give everyone the summer to get used to the idea), had 3 credit hours of Russian language and culture training, and off we went. This particular adventure was on our first trip from Moscow to St. Petersburg.

The one thing we had heard from everyone was that if you were going to St. Petersburg, you had to see Peterhof. A Russian will tell you that Peterhof is something like Versailles (France, not Brown County) only better. A Frenchman would say Peterwhat? At any rate it is a big palace surrounded by dozens of fountains and gardens and canals.

You can take a cab, a bus, or a train to Peterhof, but the fastest (and most adventurous) way is by boat. We spent much of our first day searching the bank of the Neva River looking for the boat dock to Peterhof. We saw a lot of the city, but by the time we found the boat, it was too late to take it that day. We resolved to come back in the morning and continued seeing the sights in St. Petersburg.

In the morning, as we boarded the boat we thought was heading to Peterhof, we kept noticing signs everywhere with this funny Russian word, Krandstadt, on them. With our limited Russian vocabulary, we assumed Kranstadt meant dock or boat and so we boarded the hydrofoil boat and were off.

Upon docking, we noticed this same word, Krandstadt, again and only then began to realize that this word didn't mean dock or boat and that we certainly were not at the palace we had expected to be at. Instead, we had landed on Kranstadt, the Russian island naval station, also built by Peter the Great, but for a much different purpose.

All was not lost though as we spent several hours looking at the impressive warships, the canals, and the docks. We tried to get a bite to eat at a cafe, but were informed that the establishment was for sailors only. We caught the return boat and then had to catch our train back to Moscow.

We found out later that Putin had been in Peterhof that day and that we couldn't have gotten in even if we had made it there. But what other tourists in St. Petersburg get to see the Russian Navy in action? We did make it back to St. Petersburg later in the summer and got on the right boat to Peterhof. From Peterhof, you can look across the Gulf of Finland and see Krandstadt. That's why Peter picked the spot in the first place - to oversee the construction of the naval base. (KB: I remember Doug from his kindergarten days. He’s had these problems for many, many years.)

P.S. Thanks to all you who submitted your hairy travel tails. If any of you wish to submit more, I’ll include them in forthcoming news letters.

Happy New Year!

kb